four, three, two, one / when at the barrel of a gun

[inmyriadbits]

I know a lot of people are weighing in on the fic warnings issue, and I'm really not planning to get involved. I'm on the side of warnings; as a writer, I appreciate the desire to not give away the ending (or the middle), but in this community... I know this is going to come out wrong, but a lot of people in fandom are here because we have problems elsewhere. I think that putting effort into respecting that is a given.

To quote a very wise fictional character: "So you say a few words, you make a gesture, remember an important date. Small price to pay for what you get in return. For what you get in return, it's a steal. The rest is all vanity." (That's Isaac Jaffe on Sports Night, for you heathens who've missed out.)

It does make me curious about something, though. For those of you on my flist this is relevant to, don't answer if it bothers you, but how do you deal with media in the rest of the world? I mean, TV shows and books and even newspaper articles don't warn for triggers, so what do you do? Are you sometimes blindsided? Are you extra-careful when approaching media? Do you avoid things that might be more trigger-risky? It's not really related to the debate, but I've been wondering.

Comments

[celli]

Just speaking for myself: Most TV shows and movies are rated, though, and will specify what the rating is for (movies are better for that than TV). I keep an eye on what my flist says about things, and some suspicious looking stuff I will avoid until someone I trust has vetted it for me. Also, a lot of times, reviews will mention if there's stuff not suitable for small children, which usually means me. :)

Books and newspapers are harder: I go by subject and the theme of the book from the title/inside flap, or the headline/sub headline of the article. I also rely on a lot of friends for recs, and prefer to buy books by authors I know and trust. For example, Nora Roberts/JD Robb writes a lot of sexual violence, but after reading over a hundred of her books, I have a pretty good idea for how far she's going to go, and I can either skim it or skip it if that's not going to work for me.

Sometimes I take risks on something I'm not sure about, and sometimes I avoid it like the plague. It depends on how stable I feel any given day. (For me, this also applies to fic by authors I don't know and that has't been personally recced to me.)

One place I wish you could put up warnings is the workplace--my coworkers are having an ongoing conversation about basketball that includes frequent references to Kobe Bryant's rape case, and sometimes I have to leave the room. I'm not comfortable drawing attention to myself to ask them to stop.

/tl;dr

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

Hey, I never said, but thanks for replying to this. I know it's not an easy thing to talk about, but I'm glad you were willing to share with me. <3

[fox1013.livejournal.com]

My triggers have gotten better over time. At the height of my self-injury, seeing anyone cut and bleeding (intentionally or not) on TV would set me off.

I keep track of reviews. Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson is the only recent YA novel that I thought might trigger me, and I knew going in. I read about 50 pages of it and then put it to the side because I realized it was getting harder for me to deal with it over time.

I'm okay with most of TV because I only half-watch (I'm always either on the computer or collaging at the time), but even so I always keep a remote near me because ads for certain weight loss products make my anxiety skyrocket. The second I hear even the beginning of it I turn the TV off until I'm sure it's over.

I don't see most movies in theatres for this very reason. It kind of sucks that I have to do it, but it's not worth paying $12 to get panicky and not have any way to stop it.

On the other hand, my therapist has been encouraging me to watch things that press at the limits of what I can handle, because I'm more likely to respond emotionally to a TV character doing something than when it's me. It's always a case of figuring out the middle ground between "doesn't trigger me at all" and "triggers me way too much," and sometimes I get it wrong, but I like to at least have the option.

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

Hey, I never said, but thanks for replying to this. I know it's not an easy thing to talk about, and I'm glad you were willing to share with me. <3

[jaydeyn-sitari.livejournal.com]

Most tv and movies do have ratings, reviews and spoilers that are accessible. My brother knew to warn me about Watchmen and I knew going in that I needed to be prepared for what was coming (bless him)... I know not to watch things like SVU unless it's daylight and I'm not in any way anxious.

Some days just hearing the words rape or sexual assault or sexual abuse will trigger me. I'm better with reading as long as it isn't a barrage of stuff (which has made all this unfortunately necessary wank quite hard to read, but I've been pushing myself a bit)... Mostly and it's one of the major arguments that has come up: I can watch/read and enjoy many things, including stuff with non-consensual/dubcon things included, hell, even incest type stuff, if only I'm prepared for it and I'm in a good place. But it's all about control and me being able to control my space.

The suicidal trigger is pretty strong for me too, what with livng with Mum's for so long.

It's all about being able to switch off if I know it's coming. Many tv show ratings will include warnings for sexual violence, at least here in Oz, so I know if I want to continue or not.

This whole thing has made me very cognizant of why I'm having SO MANY PROBLEMS reading Terry Goodkind's Wizard's First Rule and why I've been avoiding so much fantasy fiction over the last few years. Because these things tend to be in them (because it's a common fantasy trope for our heroine to be a better person because of living through that experience (they can fuck off btw, those authors)) and there's often no warning. I really do wish that books came with the MPAA warnings... I mean, yeah, I can get reviews and ask people who have read the books before me. *flaily hands* I don't know. It's why I've moved into YA fiction.

:(
Jaydeyn

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

Hey, I never said, but thanks for replying to this. I know it's not an easy thing to talk about, but I'm glad you were willing to share with me. <3

[maribouquet.livejournal.com]

YAY SURPRISE GUSTER LYRICS!

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

LOL I was wondering if anyone would catch that! :)