there will be a fish

I have never read an entertainment news article that made me laugh this much:

Charlie Hunnam pulls out of Fifty Shades Of Grey, leaving it begging to be filled

I thought it was worth clicking through just for the title, but the entire article is just gold.

Also -- thank god, because I really loved Charlie Hunnam in Pacific Rim (oh shit after reading that article now I want to make a horrible joke) and I didn't want him to become That Guy.

Have I ever mentioned that I love Jack Vettriano's paintings? Because I really do. His paintings are sometimes sad (A Kind of Loving), and sometimes sexy as hell (Game On), and often both sad AND sexy (Beautiful Losers II).

I'd say he's rather cynical -- or possibly, something like "romantically pragmatic" -- his paintings are often of isolated figures, or isolated couples, or couples in various kinds of antagonist or alienated embraces (he has a whole series called Betrayal - First Kiss, for example, or The Embrace of the Spider). Even ones that should be romantic feel a bit disturbing -- like The Last Great Romantics and The Last Great Romantic (which was my best friend in high school's favorite); their eyes are all closed tight. Or At Last, My Lovely (I find that over-large shadow just...beautifully unbalanced in all meanings of the word). And some are just straight-up disturbing: The Assessors, Feeding Frenzy, The Master Tattooist, The Perfectionist.

Anyway, I think he's brilliant, and I love the slight retro aesthetic and lonely tone and under-cut romance of it all. ♥

Most of you have probably seen The Singing Butler, which is probably his most famous. I like it, but it doesn't grab me as much as the rest of his work, for whatever reason. I've been trying to decide about a print of his to buy -- I'm finally putting more art back on my walls; I left them blank for the entire year of 2010, but I have four framed pieces now that I want to add to. I used to have a bunch of his stuff that I cut out from an old calendar, but I want real prints. I kinda wanted The Temptress, but I can't find it for under $150, and I can't do that. But I also really love The Letter, so I think I'll ask for that for Christmas.

I found this text file squirreled away on my computer. It dates back to when we still had Captain America playing at my theater every day, and I kept coming home with yet another random thought about the movie after watching various scenes for the fifteenth time. Et voila:

( more thoughts on Captain America. spoilers for the Iron Man movies as well )

- This is not spoilery at all, so I'm putting it outside the cut. You know that section in the credits for assistants? Well, one of the people credited as "assistant to Mr. Evans" is, I kid you not, named Zachary Jarvis. Zachary. Jarvis. WHAT. That a) is the biggest coincidence in the world, b) he was hired because someone thought it would be awesome, or c) someone in the credits department over at Marvel Studios is having a good giggle right now. Possibly all of the above. I mean, seriously.

And finally, you should all go check out this HQ scan of a recent EW article on the Avengers movie. I have been alternating between excited and nervous about Joss Whedon directing, but this has landed me firmly on the excited side of the fence. Also, I cannot wait for all of the stories from the shoot that are bound to trickle out over the next year. :D

Good new article about fanfiction in Time

I saw this when celli linked to it -- I think it's probably the best mainstream article I've yet seen on fanfic/fandom, in the sense of being factual accuracy and even-handed as well as respectful and insightful. I didn't feel insulted even once! And it even made me giggle (the bit about sex pollen, hee). I'm linking here, since I know a few people around here are less clear on this whole fanfic thing (*waves at ersatzemma & co*), and this is a good fic-ambassador piece.

I also learned that Tetris fanfiction exists in the universe. So now I'm going to go find it. :)

Okay, just trying to get rid of some tabs here. I was recently invited to a "Happy Birthday, Harry Potter!" party in July, and as a bartender and mixology nerd, I immediately started looking up whatever Harry Potter-related cocktails the internet could give me. My favorite finds:

Frozen Butterbeer
So I'm actually not the hugest fan of the usual recipes for butterbeer (which are usually based around the Official, Taste-Tested By JKR version that is at some theme park or whatever), which are variations on a combination of cream soda and butterscotch schnapps. Occasionally someone goes old-school and pulls up the original Tudor recipe for actually-buttered beer, but it looks pretty gross. However, it's kind of a required item, and I think that it would be delicious frozen. (Especially since it's been 105 around here lately.) Haven't tried the proportions on this, so can't speak to taste, but I think the general principle is sound. And anything with whipped cream is automatically awesome.

The Backyard Bartender: The Hermione Granger, The Ron Weasley, and The Harry Potter
I am somewhat dubious about the sloe gin in the Hermione, but I've only ever had the cough-syrup brand version of sloe gin, so there's that. I think the sloe gin-grapefruit-pomegranate combination sounds promising, though, citrus and fruit with sweet balancing bitter (and I'm a sucker for champagne, I will admit). The Ron is basically a Blood And Sand plus Campari, which is a-okay with me because I really like a good Blood And Sand. Would probably be too bitter/strong for most of my friends, though (wimps!), so not a party drink. The Harry sounds really intriguing; I'm going to have to make it some time. Chocolate, butterscotch, and absinthe? Cool.

Harry Potter Mixology #1: The Fred & George Weasley, The Luna Lovegood, The Neville Longbottom, The Draco Malfoy
I will love the Fred&George regardless of how it tastes solely because they had the genius idea of rimming the glass (hush, gutter-minded peanut gallery) with Pop Rocks. The Luna reminds me a lot of another drink, made with pear vodka rather than lemon vodka, without raspberries, and lemon juice/simple syrup instead of pink lemonade. I think I'd want to play with this one to make it weirder and more unique rather than its somewhat girly, lemonade-y current condition. Maybe use poivre AND citron Grey Goose in combination, and go with lemon/simple to keep it stronger, and garnish with a kumquat and a blueberry or something... The elderflower liqueur-lemony combo is perfect for her, though; it stays. The one I really want to try is the Neville, though, which is basically a mojito made with green tea, of all the brilliant things, doesn't that sound amazing? And the Draco -- a dirty martini with gruyere-stuffed olives? HI, SIGN ME UP. Although I might mix and match one of the olives with a cocktail onion, because technically those came first, and are also more delicious (I am a Gibson fangirl, so sue me), and Draco is nothing if not a slave to tradition (and deliciousness). And I tend to put about three olives AND three cocktail onions in my martinis anyway, because I am a heathen. Yum.

Harry Potter Mixology #2: GoF Edition -- The Goblet of Fire, The Fleur Delacoeur, The Victor Krum, The Cedric Diggory
The Goblet of Fire is basically a Blue Lagoon PLUS FIRE!, although the recipe provided here measures out the lemonade instead of the usual fill, which when you experiment (...which I did >.>) tastes rather awful until you add twice as much lemonade. I will probably end up bringing these; nothing like a little pyrotechnics to spice up a party, and the ingredients aren't exorbitantly expensive/weird. Um, these would be served outside, of course. (Although...as an aside to katieupsidedown, I was thinking of using Blue Things as a base instead -- because the only reason I can see for using the Blue Lagoon is for the color, not the taste -- and then 151 'em up and light the suckers on fire, plus the cinnamon trick. Only, I can't remember what the Blue Things are composed of -- the result of one too many Blue Things, I assume. :D Pineapple and...something delicious, that's all I got.) The Fleur is too girly to be in-character, imo -- that girl has a backbone to her, give her some credit instead of going all champagne-and-pink-cliche -- but I kinda like Fleur, so maybe I'm biased. I want to do something weird like add a dash of Tabasco, or something else slightly less crazy to it. Maybe a cinnamon stick garnish? Ginger? Hmm. Will wait to try Nuvo before passing judgement. The Victor Krum bores me (shockingly enough, just like the character) and the Cedric is basically a whiskey sour made with cognac (i.e. probably tastes a lot the same, only overhyped and expensive! and fine, smoother), I don't have a lot to say.

List of Harry Potter cocktail names
These seem to be just differently-named regular cocktails -- e.g., Long Island Iced Tea -> Hogsmeade Iced Tea; Bloody Mary -> Bloody Malfoy (my favorite, because it makes me giggle). But I'm duly entertained by it, and it really would be the easiest way to do it at a party: *waves wand* "Your rum and coke is now...a Remus Lupin!" That's real bartending magic -- making someone think they're getting something awesome and special when all you're doing in squeezing a lime in and giving it another name (that's my personal favorite; magically turning rum&coke into a Cuba Libre! actually, lime is kinda legit magic, though, trufax).

Well...that got long. I really meant to go to bed early so I'm not dead while driving to another city/moving furniture for relatives tomorrow. Or do the beta I owe marinarusalka. Or reply to the super-awkward FB message I just received (which is a GIANT FACEPALM of a message, god help me). Or finish my book. But no! Apparently it was really important that I link to a bunch of Harry Potter cocktail recipes and then completely nerd out about them. Go team! :)

- I find it really ironic that in my last post, it was 85 and humid and our AC was broken. The day our AC got fixed? A cold front swept through and dropped temperatures into the 50s. GOOD TIMING, WEATHER. *eyeroll*

- I really love this picture. It makes me think of school, of the screenplay I'm (still) trying to finish, and (weirdly) of H50. Also, it's just an awesome picture.

- I'm trying to decide if I want to register for my 1-year college reunion. On the plus side: the line-up of events actually looks pretty interesting, and I'd get an excuse to hang out in NYC with old friends for a while afterward. On the negative side: lots of small-talking about "how's life been since graduation?" "so what are you up to now?" and "what are you doing with your degree?", none of which are topics I feel particularly great about. Also, since I did that whole take-a-year-off-and-then-graduate-a-semester-early thing, it's a bit weird, because my graduating class isn't really the group of people that I spent the most time becoming friends with; I always felt a bit dislocated in my last year and a half.

So. I'm not really sure what I want to do. Anyone else have strong opinions or advice about college reunions?

Y'all have all seen this, right?

Newly Published Mark Twain Essay, 'Concerning the Interview'

(The "newly published" bit is because of that whole thing Mark Twain did where he forbade his autobiography from being published until 100 years after his death. Also, the article has images of the original handwritten draft, which makes my geeky heart happy.)

I was cracking up, you guys. Especially at the paragraph starting "The Interview was not a happy invention," because my god, how many terrible interviews have I read where the interviewee was clearly mentally flailing and going around in circles, and that paragraph is exactly why.

I love Mark Twain. You know you're good when you're publishing from beyond the grave and still making people laugh. ♥

1. I went on a massive Fringe-meta streak a few days ago (mostly here), enabled nicely by ignipes, who kept saying interesting things to spark me off. She then wrote a great post about Olivia Dunham which I recommend to anyone who was/is reluctant to watch Fringe based on their first impressions of her or things they heard other people saying back when it started (or interested in Olivia, or in female characterization on TV, or whatever). I was a little uncertain about Olivia when I started watching, too – so you can trust me when I say that I am REALLY HAPPY I got over that with some more watching. *nudges everyone in the direction of the pilot*

2. Isn't it disconcerting when you run across something and don't remember anything about it or where it came from? It's a bit similar to the feeling I get when going through old journal entries and thinking "Gosh, that's rather clever, but I don't remember saying it at all..." The case in point today are some old bookmarks linking to pictures of two thousand-year-old papyrus fragments with bits of The Odyssey written on (from Books 9 and 11, Book 11, and Book 17). I thought it might be from one of my classics courses, but the date says they're from the winter after sophomore year when I was withdrawn from school. My best guess now is that maybe a classics geek from my flist linked to them... They ARE pretty cool. They remind me of a school field trip to see the Dead Sea Scrolls, when I spent so long wandering through the exhibit that they had to send someone back in to find me because the buses were leaving. :D

3. Speaking of nostalgia, I would like to link (again) to this poll, which takes the cake as My Favorite Poll Ever, Fullstop. It makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. Go on, click on it; you won't regret it. :D

4. Oh, hey, did you guys notice that Lie To Me started again on Monday? SO EXCITED! Tim Roth was all terrible posture and intensity, Jason Dohring (aka Logan Echolls on Veronica Mars) guest-starred as a psychopath, and Brendan Hines and Monica Raymund spent the entire episode looking foxy in spite of Loker's terrible shirt (which he made fun of himself, oh, Loker). ♥

1. Jeeves & Wooster recs: Mr. Wooster and the Restorative Preparation is possibly my favorite thing I've read in the fandom so far. (Okay, or maybe this. Or this. Or – ANYWAY.) Set pre-canon, it's written in a lovely Jeeves-POV and tells the story of just how Jeeves came to work for one Bertram Wooster. Because you just know that Jeeves wouldn't leave something like his employment up to chance, would he? It's clever and touching and brilliantly Jeevesian, and I keep re-reading it. ♥

1a. The author of the above story, innocentsmith, also has a great essay on Jeeves characterization, Gentleman's Gentlemanly Behavior. It makes me want to just point and go "Yes, THIS."

2. Moving on to Castle, the Ryan Report (aka that thing on their website where the writers do an in-character blog from Ryan's POV) for 2.21 "Den of Thieves" is SO CUTE. SO PARTNERY. SO AWESOME. If you ship Ryan/Esposito, it's golden; if you prefer the platonic interpretation, it's also golden. I love them so much, you guys. *draws hearts*

3. I have a new favorite proverb: Se non è vero, è ben trovato. It's Italian for "If it's not true, it's a good story." Isn't that lovely? (Proverb acquisition thanks to – who else – Stephen Fry on QI.)

4. BEST. GRAFITTI. EVER. One more reason to love Chicago! ♥

5. A Gadget Too Far: interesting essay on the judicious use of technology in stories. It focuses on sci-fi in novels/short prose, but the ideas are easily applicable elsewhere.

So, that whole thing about it being illegal to pick bluebonnets in Texas because it's the state flower, which I have believed is true my whole life?

Apparently, not so true.

It's an urban legend! It's still kinda tacky and bad karma to pick them (because unless these annual flowers are left alone, they won't re-seed for the next year). But it's not illegal.

I feel so disillusioned, and kind of silly.