ten-second cars and Coronas

[inmyriadbits]

So, Katie and I spent our afternoon and evening after work in a worthwhile pursuit -- by which I mean to say, we watched the first four The Fast and the Furious movies back to back, in preparation for going to see the fifth on opening weekend.

We may have consumed large numbers of Coronas in the process. (It was only appropriate. And at times, necessary.)

My thoughts, such as they are:

1. Vin Diesel makes everything better.

No, seriously. The second movie was decent amounts of fun, but Katie and I only made it through the third movie by the power of beer and vigorous mocking (okay, and the fact that Han was rather pretty). It was quite literally painful at times, what with the chipmunk-jawlined Vanessa Hudgens knock-off and the horrible, horrible fake Southern accent sported by the lead character. The cars were very pretty, and I admit to finding drifting a very interesting concept, but that movie was seriously awful.

But then -- Vin Diesel showed up for a cameo at the very end! And suddenly, it was like the entire movie was the really lame set-up to an awesome punchline, and the existence of the movie was vindicated. He's like magic.

2. I'm...really not sure what people who watch these movies without slash goggles must think. Really. Katie and I had a fantastic time laughing our asses off at the unintentional double entendres. I mean: "I've gotta get you on the street so I can make money off your ass"? "I'm the kind of boy who appreciates a fine body no matter what the make"? Really?

...not that I'm complaining. :)

3. I actually found myself engaged in Brian's character arc, god help me. He really is so much more meant to be on the wrong side of the law, is basically my conclusion, so good thing about the end of the fourth movie. (Also, I find his "romance" with Mia utterly boring, even though I rather like both characters. Still, *YAWN*)

4. Corona is a rather terrible beer. Thank the lord for limes.

THE END

...what. You expected those thoughts to be deep?

Comments

[mercurybard.livejournal.com]

2. I somehow managed to watch the movies without slash goggles back in high school. All I really remember was cheering Mia on in the first movie when she went bros over hoes. And also wanting to be Leti.

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

LOL, a new twist of meaning on bros over hos! I like it. My most vivid memory of Mia is the scene when she simultaneously turns down Vince and asks out Brian, from the first movie. That was a pretty smooth manuever, and I still liked it this time around. :) Letty is pretty damn great, I agree, Michelle Rodriguez FTW! I always thought the first movie's treatment of women was interesting -- women are both objects and characters, and its their own choices that makes them one or the other. Of course, it's incredibly problematic no matter how you slice it, but the way they play it is interesting.

*peers at your icon* Is that Cassie from Push? Because I totally love her. ♥

[mercurybard.livejournal.com]

Of course, it's incredibly problematic no matter how you slice it, but the way they play it is interesting
That part in the first film where Letty's like *sniff* "I smell skank"

Michelle Rodriguez wins in just about everything I've ever seen her in.

And, yep, that's Cassie. I love me some Push.

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

I KNOW! That was maybe the best line in the movie, IMO. I keep quoting it at Katie at random moments. :D

I love Push, too! Dakota Fanning knocked that role out of the ballpark, and Cassie was already pretty awesome on paper.

[spatz.livejournal.com]

Let us take this moment to remember all of the brain cells who were lost last night. Their sacrifice will be remembered. *bows head*

Also, the actor who played Shawn? Apparently from Alabama (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0085407/bio), and 24 while making the movie.

....I think that makes it worse.

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

And he turned down a role in The Horse Whisperer because they wanted him to modify his accent.

[spatz.livejournal.com]

So clearly he's just such a poor actor we thought his accent was the problem. :)

[kageygirl.livejournal.com]

I don't know what happened! I liked him in American Gothic!

(I mean, not THAT way, he was a kid. But he wasn't BAD in it.)

[spatz.livejournal.com]

Well, it was a F&F movie, so the script was shitty to begin with ;) And he had absolutely no chemistry with the girl. Maybe he's one of those dudes who is good only when there's something to work with?

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

*takes a moment of silence*

Oh, now I...feel bad for making fun of his accent when I clearly should've been making fun of his acting making everything sound unnatural? :D? *is horrible*

[spatz.livejournal.com]

Ignorant, I think. *shrugs*

I think we can now agree that the main importance of the third movie was giving us Han. ♥

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

*shrugs back* Yeah...I don't actually care.

AGREED! And that they were clearly brilliant to bring Han back in the third movie, and again in the third. Well done, guys! :D

[spatz.livejournal.com]

back in the third movie, and again in the third

Well, I'm not going to argue with resurrection handwaving, but I'm pretty sure that was a typo. ;)

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

Um. Yes. Oops. You know what I meant.

[gingerwall.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I have a huge crush on Michelle Rodridguez. Is that enough to mean that I should watch these movies?

Jeff apparently "likes the third movie the best - I'll have to ask him why.

You guys just need to add some chili-salt and the Corona + lime combination suddenly becomes amazing. The Oaxacan family I was tutoring in English a couple years ago made us some for Easter and they were fucking AMAZING! You lay each side of the lime down in a shallow plate of chili-salt before squeezing and inserting into the Corona. I'm not sure what the chili-salt is actually called. (I wanna say "Chili-sal" but you could probably find it at Fiesta or any other Mexican grocery in TX since the family was able to find it somehow in mid-state New York.)

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

Hmm...well, she's only in the first movie and some of the fourth, although she is really fun in both of those. They're more worth watching if you want to see some cool car chases, Vin Diesel, gorgeous cars, Vin Diesel, unintentional rampant homoeroticism, Vin Diesel, and also Vin Diesel. They're pretty, but kinda dumb as a box of rocks.

I would be really interested in that explanation! Mostly because I find it utterly inexplicable. :)

That does sound good! But it doesn't make Corona a good beer, sorry. If you have to add three flavors to a beer-drinking experience to make it exciting, that just doesn't count as "good beer". :P