In which I complain. And need a hug.

[inmyriadbits]

*sigh* I have to go run some errands, and I started doing that thing where I go "Well, maybe I should wear this cool skirt, I never really find a good time to wear it, but then I need this other thing, and then the shoes..." until it becomes more complicated than it should be and then frustratingly just isn't right for some reason. And then I run out of energy and don't end up going anywhere and change back into my pajamas. Does anyone else do this?

I think a lot of the problem was that I went to a full yoga session for the first time in a REALLY long time (as in, years). It wiped me out. Also, the puppies have been insanely hyper and biting everything recently, which means I'm just getting frustrated at them without being able to enjoy compensatory cuddling. That sucked a lot yesterday, when it was raining and freezing and I couldn't take them outside to run around in circles. Or, you know, go to the bathroom. I spent literally hours chasing around the house cleaning up after them and being robbed of any desire to go swing-dancing.

Ugh, I'm just tired. You know what would be great? If Nickelodeon would please start broadcasting new episodes of Avatar. Ditto for Fox regarding Bones. Where are my happy-making shows at? I ask you.

My 21st birthday is on Monday. This should not really be a reason for complaint, since a) birthday, and b) legal to buy alcohol, but I have had really disappointing experiences with my birthday the past few years. And before that, they weren't anything special either (it just only started sucking recently when I started hoping for more and not getting it). And as much as I love Katie, always sharing your special day with someone else isn't that great sometimes. As for this year, I'm away from the majority of my friends, and I've been struggling with depression and thus haven't been making tons of new friends, so I basically have a grand total of maybe five people I might want to celebrate with, and most of them don't know each other, and the ones that do, don't really like each other. I want something special, and what I'm going to get is dinner with my parents where maybe the highlight will be getting carded. I'm trying not to be disappointed, because I know I don't deal with disappointment well (it's a serious flaw), but the alternative is to not have any expectations at all, and that's almost worse. So. What's a girl to do? At the very least, I'd like it not to bring me down during SXSW.

And the puppies are going back tomorrow. It's going to make me cry a lot, in public. I just know it.

Comments

[slidellra.livejournal.com]

Argh! That is woe! Puppy loss and birthday uneasiness, ow.

I've been nuts the last week or so, but am absolutely yours on a platter for sex toy shopping and burgers and beer (and maybe even MirrorMask viewing, but I don't want to be greedy) this week. I think it would be a FABULOUS way to help ring in 21.

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, I'm so sorry I never got back to you on this. My life kind of exploded when SXSW rolled around, and I'm just now catching up on things. The offer meant a lot to me when I was down about this, though, so thank you so much for that. *hugs*

I would love to do vibrators and burgers and beer (which I can buy now! *beams*) and MirrorMask, too! My birthday celebrations are still trailing on since the day itself was spent SXSW-ing, so it totally counts. :) When are you free?

[slidellra.livejournal.com]

Hee! I knew when I wrote it that it was flirting with SXSW disaster, but I wrote it anyway. Because I am MEAN. Also, because I'd love to hang out with you again and our inability to do so is downright silly.

Beer! I mean, vibrators!. Whichever. \o/ I'm away for two weeks starting tomorrow, because... I can't figure out how to finish that sentence without bringing in Romeo and Juliet and entirely overwrought analogies. ANYWAY. I'm on the road on the west coast for two weeks, but when I get back I would SO love vibrators and burgers and beer. SO MUCH.

Also, HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

Man, we totally fail at this whole coordination thing. It's getting downright ridiculous! But beer! AND vibrators! (which, I really need to get on that, because healing wrist tattoos are making things COMPLICATED.)

Alas, a fortnight we shall be separated! But when you get back, we can do things Shakespeare never even could've imagined. :D Well, maybe the beer...

THANK YOU! *beams*

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

it becomes more complicated than it should be and then frustratingly just isn't right for some reason. And then I run out of energy and don't end up going anywhere and change back into my pajamas. Does anyone else do this?

Yes! I used to miss classes because of that in college, because you hit a point where you (think you) are looking increasingly freakish with each new change, and the later you'd be walking in, the more conspicuous you'd be, the more important it is not to look freakish. It sounds silly but it's really quite upsetting when that particular compulsion attacks out of nowhere. I mean, I really panic.

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

God, yes! It's like the sartorial equivalent of seeing a word too much and having it start looking completely bizarre, I think. Only, with more anxiety. Man, that metaphor got away from me...

[celli]

*hugs*

I was supposed to spend my 21st birthday in Deadwood, experiencing the thrill of gambling for the first time, but the week before, I had a snitfest and stormed out of the living room. I tripped over a shoebox on my way out and broke my little toe. You have to walk to hang out in Deadwood, so no birthday gambling for me. And Shannon was off...working in DC, I think?

I decided instead to give myself the present of an entire day to myself. Whatever I wanted, no guilt. I slept in, read myself nto a stupor, and watched movies with my little brothers.

I still think Deadwood would have been a ton of fun, but I liked my birthday. I will quite often give myself a day of whatever as a birthday present.

Also, true story, I've forgotten Shannon's birthday twice.

*hugs*

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

The day ended up okay, after all. I think the fretting was worse than the actuality (as it usually is). It wasn't a huge blowout, and I missed my friends, but I had a good day. It was enough. :) Thank you for commenting on this, though. It helped when I was down. *hugs*

[fishsanwitt]

::hugs::

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :)

[soundslikej.livejournal.com]

*sends hugs*

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

*signs for hugs, flirts with cute delivery boy* Thanks! :D

[jaydeyn-sitari.livejournal.com]

It's always an occasion when I wear a skirt so yeah, I feel the outfit pain. Of course, I don't pay attention as much as I could to clothing... it's something I'm trying to remedy. Usually, I get lost. As in I'm going somewhere and I take a wrong turn and all of a sudden I'm going in circles and getting increasingly frustrated and end up throwing my hands in the air and giving up and going home. Hate that point! I always find though, if I have something, anything, to eat and drink, I'm right back in the game, so maybe it's a blood sugar level or something? Feeds into depression? At least I think it's that way for me.

*hugs* I've always found birthdays suck. A lot. Nothing special ever gets done for me either. There's often going out and shopping to get stuff with Mum and so forth... but it rarely feels like anyone's put any effort into gift giving or what have you. So yeah, the expectation game. I'm sorry it's sucky for you! :( I'd try for low expectations and figure it's gotta head up...

And the puppies are going!!? Ohhh. Are you going to be fostering any more?

Um... I don't know bugger all about bandom (you may have noticed) but you might find some good stuff with stele3 over at insanejournal? She's an excellent writer in Supernatural and stuff, just in case you haven't read any of her stuff. :) Um... *scrolls* fic closer to the bottom of the page? :)

Also, here is a vid explaining the story so far on Battlestar Gallactica (SPOILERS for all three seasons). It's cool: What the Frak? ... love it. :)

Also: *HUGS* I hope it goes better than you think! :)

:)
Jaydeyn

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the comment, sweetie. Things turned out okay after all.

And stele3 is amazing, I love her bandom stuff. She wrote ridiculously good wingfic, and a badass female FBI agents AU, and all kinds of fun stuff.

I am so behind on BSG, dude. Like, never-finished-S2 behind. Bad fangirl [me]! No cookie! :) But I've heard that vid is hysterical. I look forward to being able to see it.

[maribouquet.livejournal.com]

goodbye, puppies *sniffles*

I am sending you lots and lots of hugs to go with that cool skirt.

What can we, the internet, do to give you the happiest possible 21st bday?

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

My mom and I were totally weepy. :(

*hugs back* Hugs are the best accessory!